Hold Us Hostile!
Hear Dubya try to use
a 4-syllable word!!!!
(not once but twice Sept 12, 2000)
How many syllables in "subliminal"?
Hear George try again !


Pure Dubya   |  Grammar Whiz   |  On War  |  Education  |  Classics


Pure Dubya
I want to appreciate the Senate Majority Leader, Tom Daschle, for being here today.
-- He wants to appreciate Tom Daschle, but presumably cannot, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Apr. 24, 2002

He's the kind of fellow who does in office that which he says he's going to do. It doesn't matter what your political party is, as far as I'm concerned. What matters is -- in this case, what matters is he does -- he kind of defeats cynicism by performing. And therefore, what I was going to say is, it doesn't matter what your party is, you've got to admire that in a man.
-- Some extemporaneous fumbling in reference to New York Governor George Pataki, Wilmington, New York, Apr. 22, 2002

One victim put it this way: "They explained the defendant's constitutional right to the Nth degree. They couldn't do this and they couldn't do that because of his constitutional rights. And I wondered what mine were. And they told me, I hadn't got any." The guy sounded like he came from Texas.
-- Dubya perhaps confirming that his discomfort with constitutional rights stems from his upbringing in Texas, Washington, D.C., Apr. 16, 2002

The best way to fight evil is to do some good. Let me qualify that -- the best way to fight evil at home is to do some good. The best way to fight them abroad is to unleash the military. It is so important for citizens in this country to put a face on America for the world to see, the true face.
-- The true face is a double standard, then? Scary talk from Dubya in Knoxville, Tennessee, Apr. 8, 2002

The invisible part of everything that you thought you could see, you can't see.
-- Offering his appraisal of the Palestinian/Israeli situation, Interview with ITN, Crawford, Texas, Apr. 5, 2002

DUBYA: The people of New York are discerning voters. Well, most of the time they're discerning voters. If you know what I mean.
REPORTER: No, what do you mean?
DUYBA: Well, you're a smart guy. Read between the lines.
-- Dubya showing his tact in event meant to honor New Yorkers, with New York Governor George Pataki and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, White House, Apr. 1, 2002

I appreciate so very much Tom Ridge's service. You know, he was a governor there in Pennsylvania, just kind of cruising along.
-- Dubya making Governor Ridge's previous work seem rather unimportant, Greenville, South Carolina, Mar. 27, 2002

And there will be -- I take it back. It will be a signature -- I won't hesitate. It will probably take about -- you know, about three seconds to get to the W, I may hesitate on the period, and then rip through the Bush.
-- Vivid description courtesy of Dubya, Washington, D.C., Mar. 24, 2002

We've tripled the amount of money -- I believe it's from $50 million up to $195 million available.
-- Fuzzy math of the Dubya variety, Lima, Peru, Mar. 23, 2002

The enemy must have thought they were hitting a society that was so soft, so self-absorbed, so materialistic that we would sue them.
-- Well all right then, Missouri Republican Party dinner, St. Louis, Missouri, Mar. 19, 2002

There is no cave deep enough for the justice of the United States of America.
-- Just ask Johnny Cochran for confirmation, eh Dubya? Another confusing statement from the king of misstatement, Missouri Republican Party dinner, St. Louis, Missouri, Mar. 19, 2002

Listen, we caught a bunch of them bunched up the other day. And they're not bunched up any more.
-- Amusing crowd with a description of the military actions he oversees, remarks at Albers Manufacturing, O'Fallon, Missouri, Mar. 18, 2002

General McNeil, thank you very much. For a warrior, you're pretty darn articulate.
-- Master of the backhanded compliment at work again, Fayetteville, North Carolina, Mar. 15, 2002

At the beginning of this war, I made it very clear -- as clear as a fellow from Texas could make it -- either you're with us or you're against us.
-- Backhandedly (and incorrectly) patting himself on the shoulders for being able to clearly say something, Fayetteville, North Carolina, Mar. 15, 2002

Now I'm going to eat my lasagna. If it gets cold you have to eat the lasagna.
-- Obviously he meant to say something here, only this probably wasn't it, Ft. Bragg, North Carolina, Mar. 15, 2002

You're going to hear the statisticians, the number crunchers, the bean counters -- as we call them in Texas -- say this might have been a recession, this might not have been a recession, this, that and the other. Well, when they do that, they get crossways with the Bush boys.
-- Yeeee hawwww! Them sound like fightin' words, varmint! St. Pete Beach, Florida, Mar. 8, 2002

My trip to Asia begins here in Japan for an important reason. It begins here because for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times. From that alliance has come an era of peace in the Pacific.
-- With the minor exception of World War II, which brought something entirely different to the Pacific, Remarks to the Diet, Tokyo, Japan, Feb. 18, 2002

We expect there to be transparency. People who have something to hide make us nervous.
-- Speaking about Iraq, Anchorage, Alaska, Feb. 16, 2002

Yeah!
-- Dubya's punctuation for every arrow strike he witnessed at special "yabusame" ceremony in Japan, an archery ceremony dating from the 6th Century, performed as a form of prayer

55 years old. Wow! That is really old. Thank goodness you have such a young, beautiful wife.
-- Birthday card to Enron Chairman Kenneth Lay, 1997

Listen, we're a great nation. We welcome people in. We just want to know why you're here. And if you're not supposed to be here more than a period of time, then maybe you ought to just go on home.
-- Rolling out the welcome mat in New York, Feb. 6, 2002

I felt like we were making pretty good progress, up until the time when we discovered -- the world discovered -- that there had been a significant shipment of arms ordered from Iran for only -- seems like to us only one purpose, and that is to prevent -- is for terrorist purposes.
-- Remarks at visit of King Abdullah of Jordan, Feb. 1, 2002

And good public policy asks the questions: "How do we make sure that what affects one affects the other in a positive way? How do we make sure people can find jobs as we head into the year 2000?"
-- The good public policy of 1999, at least, New Orleans, Louisiana, Jan. 15, 2002

Anyway, it was an interesting day.
-- Speaking about Sept. 11 and settling on the description "interesting", Ontario, California, Jan. 5, 2002

The border here has got a little Texan in it.
-- Describing the new carpet in the Oval Office, Dec. 21, 2001

REPORTER: Mr. President, can you tell us where you are, sir, on your deliberations over John Walker, and have you ruled out a charge of treason?
DUBYA: I'm heading into the Oval Office.
-- Avoiding answering a question by providing a really dumb answer, Dec. 20, 2001

I always knew the people of Louisiana were a little different -- (laughter) -- in a good way.
-- Remarks on the "Spirit of Louisiana" fire truck given as a gift from the people of Louisiana to the people of New York City, Dec. 19, 2001

It's an amazing year, obviously, for our country.
-- The World Trade Center terrorist attack? Simply amazing! Event with the World Series champion Arizona Diamondbacks, Dec. 13, 2001

I see women of cover here, and I want to thank you for coming from the Muslim community here in America.
-- Dubya resurrecting a favorite expression of his, and bless him for it, town hall meeting, Orlando, Florida, Dec. 4, 2001

Listen, I was so sympathetic yesterday... I mean, Sunday, to Ariel Sharon. When he's standing in my office, obviously agonizing over the loss of innocent life, the clear attempt of murdering innocent people and a successful attempt of murdering innocent people.
-- Dubya tooting his own horn, and getting tongue-tied as usual, Barbara Walters interview, Dec. 4, 2001

Far be it from me to try to put words in God's mouth.
-- Barbara Walters interview, Dec. 4, 2001

He's a good man.
-- Comment about his dog Barney, Barbara Walters interview, Dec. 4, 2001

Down, boy.
-- Chiding words spoken to female turkey, Nov. 19, 2001

Great to have you back. Just don't steal the silverware.
-- Consummate gentleman Dubya greeting Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe at the Kennedy Center Honors, Dec. 2, 2001

I asked them the other day, would it be okay if I cut a 30-minute tape, a piece of propaganda, no questions, just here -- here it is, here's 30 minutes of me talking; please run it, not only across your airwaves but run it internationally, if you don't mind; I've got something to say about the conflict and our fight against evil. They said, no, they're not going to do that. If I'm going to get on the news, they've got to ask me questions.
-- Apparently feeling more and more comfortable with the idea of being a dictator, press conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin, Nov. 13, 2001

I'm proud to welcome [Nigerian] President Obasanjo back to the White House. We just had a very good visit. We discussed our mutual concern, our mutual desire.
-- Looks like we have a love connection, White House, Nov. 2, 2001

I didn't know then that New Yorkers could wave with all of their fingers.
-- Demonstrating his winning charm and compassion after throwing out the first pitch of Game 3 of the World Series, New York City, Oct. 30, 2001

This Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Reagan International Airport.
-- At a press conference, Oct. 2, 2001

If you've been laid off from work, you're 100 percent unemployed.
-- Dubya clarifying complex economic concepts in Kaukauna, Wisconsin, Sept. 3, 2001

DUBYA: Is everybody enjoying themselves here?
REPORTER: I only just got here, so...
DUBYA: Yes, I know. Where have you been?
REPORTER: Sucking up the salt air on the West Coast.
DUBYA: Brie and cheese?
REPORTER: No, tennis.
-- Backfiring putdown of the West Coast, Waco, Texas, Aug. 23, 2001

My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the - in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen.
-- Crawford, Texas, Aug. 13, 2001

I can assure you Mr. Chairman, or I wish would be Mr. Chairman - should be Mr. Chairman, and will be Mr. Chairman after next 2002.
-- At fund raising event for Pete Domenici, Albuquerque, New Mexico, August, 2001

And the true threats of the 21st century are the ability for some rogue leader to say to the United States, to Europe, to Russia herself, to Israel, don't you dare move, don't you dare try to express your freedom, otherwise we'll blow you up.
--BBC interview, July 20, 2001

I look forward to seeing [Tony Blair] at Chequers. And we sat next to each other at my first EU luncheon - NATO luncheon - anyway, at the first luncheon with leaders I sat next to Tony. It was very comforting to sit next to a friend, kind of the new boy in class, you know - sat next to a friend. And he's easy to talk to, which is a high compliment when it comes from a Texan.
--BBC interview, July 20, 2001

I thought Québec City was -- first of all, I got to see Québec City in kind of a near-empty state, which was beautiful.
-- Noting how remarkable Québec City looks when its residents have been conveniently removed from the vicinity, July 18, 2001

He knew what he believed, and he really kind of went after it in a way that seemed like a Texan to me.
-- Dubya's assessment of Winston Churchill, upon receiving a bust of the British politician from Tony Blair, Washington, D.C., July 16, 2001

Sometimes Churchill will talk back, sometimes he won't, depending upon the stress of the moment, but he is a constant reminder of what a great leader is like.
-- Another Dubya assessment of Winston Churchill, who has been deceased for 35 years, Washington, D.C., July 16, 2001

Who cares what you think?
-- to Philadelphia writer Bill Hangley, Jr., in response to Mr. Hangley's comment to Mr. Bush: "Mr. President, I hope you only serve four years. I'm very disappointed in your work so far." July 4, 2001

We cannot start Mitchell, the Mitchell plan, until the cycle of violence has been crushed and broken.
(emphasis added, for obvious reasons)
-- Washington, D.C., June 20, 2001

Hello, Landslide!
-- Greeting given to British PM Tony Blair (Get it? He had just won re-election in a landslide!), Ibid.

I think [Ambassador Zoellick] deserves a lot of credit. But don't give him any until he describes exactly what he did to you.
-- Remarks made to agriculture leaders, June 18, 2001

For every fatal shooting, there are roughly three nonfatal shootings. Folks, this is unacceptable in America, We're going to do something about it.
-- Another Dubya gem offered in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, May 14, 2001

Not all wisdom is in Washington, D.C., as witnessed by what took place up here.
-- Remarks by the President to Environmental Youth Award Winners, in the White House, in Washington, D.C., Apr. 24, 2001

There ought to be limits to freedom.
-- In reference to the parody site gwbush.com

I assured the prime minister, my administration will work hard to lay the foundation of peace in the Middle—to work with our nations in the Middle East, give peace a chance. Secondly, I told him that our nation will not try to force peace, that we'll facilitate peace and that we will work with those responsible for a peace.
-- Talking about peace, Washington, D.C., Mar. 20, 2001

I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified.
-- Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001

INTERVIEWER: Well, you're a secular official...
DUBYA: I agree. I am a secular official.
INTERVIEWER: And not a missionary.
DUBYA: Sir, on the air strikes in Iraq, the Pentagon is now saying that most of the bombs used in those strikes missed their targets.
-- New York Times, Feb. 23, 2001

Home is important. It's important to have a home.
-- Crawford, Texas, Feb. 18, 2001

Oh, please don't kill me.
-- Texas Governor Dubya Bush, said with a laugh to reporters asking what death row convict Carla Faye Tucker said to him in her appeal for clemency

The role of government is to create an environment that encourages Hispanic-owned businesses, women-owned businesses, anybody-kind-of-owned businesses.
-- President Dubya, Mar. 19, 2001

I propose that every city have a telephone number 119 -- for dyslexics who have an emergency.
-- Nugget of wisdom from Dubya

I hope to show Hispanics that Republicans do have a heart, but I also want to send a message to people from around the country as to how to pick up the Hispanic vote.
-- Candid candidate Dubya

As far as the legal hassling and wrangling and posturing in Florida, I would suggest you talk to our team in Florida led by Jim Baker.
-- Crawford, Texas, Nov. 30, 2000

GUEST: Can you drink this? (asks while reaching down to the water)
DUBYA: Sure.
GUEST takes a handful to his mouth.
DUBYA: Except for the cow sh*t.
GUEST "spit take" ensues.
-- Dubya playing the consummate host on his ranch, Nov. 2000

Oh, I thought you said some band.-- Dubya showing unfamiliarity with the Taliban regime, after being asked twice by Glamour Magazine national affairs editor David France, May 2000

I did denounce it. I de- I denounced it. I denounced interracial dating. I denounced anti-Catholic bigacy... bigotry.
-- Responding to attacks on his visit to ultra-conservative Bob Jones University, Virginia, February 25, 2000

It means when it comes time to sew up your chest cavity, we use stitches as opposed to opening it up.
-- An explanation of his claim to being a uniter rather than a divider, in an interview with recovering quintuple bypass heart surgery patient and late night TV host David Letterman, Mar. 2, 2000

Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win. And that's where I'm coming from.
-- Detroit, Michigan, Sept. 7, 2000

I don't know whether I'm going to win or not. I think I am. I do know I'm ready for the job. And, if not, that's just the way it goes.
-- Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 21, 2000

There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.'
-- Boston, Massachusetts, Oct. 3, 2000

This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of... You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the 'evil empire' may have passed, evil still remains. We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for... We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low.
-- A certain Dubya, Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000

The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war!
-- First Presidential debate, Boston, Massachusetts, Oct. 3,2000

Diseases...such as arthritis and osteoporosis can be less be-a, be-a-dilatating.
-- President Dubya, Mar. 21, 2001

After all he [Al Gore] claimed he invented the Internet. But if he's so smart, how come every Internet address begins with "Dubya"?
-- Dubya keeping the room in stitches, Nov. 4, 2000

I wanna make it clear to people that, you know, the idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is, is ridiculous.
-- Candidate Dubya, Sept. 12, 2000

Conspiracy theories abound in American politics. I don't even need to be subliminabable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs.
-- Candidate Dubya, Sept. 12, 2000

LARRY KING: "What do people misunderstand about you most?"
DUBYA: "That I'm running on my dad's name... I'm proud of my dad... I reconciled my love for my dad a long time ago."
-- Commentary made on CNN's "Larry King Live"

You f***ing son of a bitc*. I saw what you wrote. We're not going to forget this.
-- Dubya on a charm offensive with Wall Street Journal columnist Al Hunt, Apr. 1986

People make suggestions on what to say all the time. I'll give you an example; I don't read what's handed to me. People say, 'Here, here's your speech, or here's an idea for a speech.' They're changed. Trust me.
-- Interview with the New York Times, March 15, 2000

I've got the greatest idea of how to raise money for the campaign. Have your mother send a letter to your family's Christmas-card list. I just did, and I got $350,000!
-- At "candidate's school" in 1978 set up by the Republican Party, where Dubya offered sterling advice that all of us could undoubtedly use to run for office

Grammar Whiz
And as to how to achieve that vision is something we must consult with our friends.
-- Meeting with Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, Crawford, Texas, Apr. 25, 2002

The farm bill needs to get done quickly so that the farmers who are out there fixing to plant know what the rules of the game is.
-- Dubya knows what "is" means, but may have wanted to opt for "are" here, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Apr. 24, 2002

And then America's Paralympics overcame great odds to excel in their sports.
-- The "Paralympics" are the event, "Paralympians" are the athletes, at event congratulating Olympic and Paralympic athletes, White House, Apr. 23, 2002

Manuel Guerra contacted polio as an infant.
-- Merely "contacting" polio might leave a person unscathed, it's the "contracting" part that leads to problems, at event congratulating Olympic and Paralympic athletes, White House, Apr. 23, 2002

I wanna thank Tommy for his leadership at the Department of Health and Human Services. I knew he was gonna be a good one, because I saw what he did as governor of Wisconsin. And he brought that very same skills of leadership and vision to Washington.
-- Speaking about HHS Secretary Tommy Thompson, White House, Apr. 18, 2002

I said, does she make a pretty good hand? -- that's Texan for "Is she a good worker?"
-- Multilingual Dubya displays Texan to English interpreting skills, White House, Apr. 18, 2002

I urge people, I urge businesses to join the Welfare to Work Partnership, or any like such partnership.
-- The correct expression is actually "suchlike", White House, Apr. 18, 2002

I want to talk about three issues facing America. The first are homeland security.
-- Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Apr. 15, 2002

First, any time we commit a troop into action, that person must have the best equipment, the best training, the best possible -- the best pay possible.
-- Resurrecting a vintage expression of his, creating a non-existent singular version of a plural noun, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Apr. 15, 2002

We're deliberate. We're patient. I'm under no hurry.
-- Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Apr. 15, 2002

It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber.
-- Unintentional put-down of the U.S. Senate's genetic composition, Washington, D.C., Apr. 10, 2002

This doesn't have nothing to do with reputation.
-- Statement made about whether or not to call a summit, in Dubya's grammatically challenged fashion, as quoted in the New York Times, Apr. 8, 2002

In order for all Americans to realize the American Dream, you've got to make sure every child has the necessary foundation to be good readers, good writers, good comprehenders.
-- The sentiment is fine, but the singular/plural issue rears its head again, Pennsylvania State University, Apr. 2, 2002

I've asked Secretary of State Powell, Secretary of Treasury O'Neill to reach out to the world community, to develop clear and concrete, objective criterion for the millenium challenge account. We'll apply these criterion fairly, and rigorously.
-- Criterion, not to be confused with its plural form: criteria, which would have been the appropriate choice in this instance, conference on world poverty, Monterrey, Mexico, Mar. 22, 2002

There's no doubt in my mind, Harold, that the American people will respond. And when they do, Laura and I will thank them from the bottom of my heart.
-- Perhaps Laura's heart has been removed and they're sharing Dubya's, Samuel W. Tucker Elementary School, Alexandria, Virginia, Mar. 20, 2002

And by cutting the personal rates, all personal rates, what we are in effect doing for the small business community was encouraging cash flow.
-- Textbook Dubya tense mismatch, remarks at Albers Manufacturing, O'Fallon, Missouri, Mar. 18, 2002

High taxes is a road block.
-- Remarks at Albers Manufacturing, O'Fallon, Missouri, Mar. 18, 2002

If need be, we'll just reduce unilaterally to a level commiserate with keeping a deterrence and keeping the peace.
-- Still failing to learn difference between "commiserate" and "commensurate", White House, Mar. 13, 2002

This nation is in the process, I believe, of ushering in a period where we said each of us are responsible for the decisions we make in life.
-- New York City, Feb. 6, 2002

We have found diagrams of American nuculer power plants and public water facilities.
-- State of the Union address, Jan. 29, 2002

We must prevent the terrorists and regimes who seek chemical, biological or nuculer weapons from threatening the United States and the world.
-- State of the Union address, Jan. 29, 2002

The Iraqi regime has plotted to develop anthrax and nerve gas and nuculer weapons for over a decade.
-- State of the Union address, Jan. 29, 2002

There has been a couple of contacts with people in my Cabinet. And my Cabinet officers said, no help here. And we're starting an investigation before anybody started paying attention to Enron.
-- Grammatically painful attempt to spin America's largest bankruptcy, Belle, West Virginia, Jan. 22, 2001

I'm real proud of how the administration and our government has responded to the attacks on America. Got a good strategy in the first phase of the war, to rout terror.
-- Exhibiting pride in America's routing prowess, Dec. 21, 2001

Every morning I come into the desk, and I would read the threat assessments to America.
-- Speaking of the present as a bygone era, Dec. 21, 2001

People from all walks of life, all politics parties, some of who probably have never been to New York City before, have said... "How can I help somebody whose lives have been adversely affected by the evil ones?"
-- When Dubya quotes you, you sound just like him, remarks on the "Spirit of Louisiana" fire truck given as a gift from the people of Louisiana to the people of New York City, Dec. 19, 2001

Dr. Rice is not only a -- brilliant person, she is a -- experienced person.
-- Dubya looking for good words to describe Condoleezza Rice, and forgeting "a/an" usage, Dec. 17, 2001

Somebody whose parents had the foresight to encourage him to be extricated from a tyrannical society.
-- Eloquently (?) describing Mel Martinez's Cuban origins, meeting with displaced workers in Florida town hall meeting, Dec. 4, 2001

There's always a difference of opinion sometimes between the House and the Senate, whether it's at the state or federal level.
-- Statement made with poor logical grammatical agreement, town hall meeting, Orlando, Florida, Dec. 4, 2001

And we have a role in the government -- in the state government, in the federal government -- to provide immediate help as part of an economic security package, is to provide immediate help.
-- Grammatical nightmare offered in town hall meeting, Orlando, Florida, Dec. 4, 2001

It's one thing for he and me to have a personal relationship.
-- Talking about his personal relationship with President Putin and abusing the English language in the process, Crawford High School, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 15, 2001

And terrorism and evil are common threats to both our governments, and will be tomorrow, as well as today, unless we do something about it now. And that's exactly what we're doing.
-- Well spoken again, in reference to common ground between the US and Russia, Crawford High School, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 15, 2001

So we are getting ready to have the first press conference we had together in Slovenia.
-- The past and future all at once, Crawford High School, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 15, 2001

So there's a lot we can find with these world leaders that you've got in common with them, if you just spend some time listening.
-- Confused expression offered at the Texas State Technical College Airport, Waco, Texas, Nov. 14, 2001

Like yourself, or like your question implies, it would be nice to have had the bill done yesterday. But sometimes democracy doesn't work quite that fast.
-- Detailing the complexities of the democratic process to reporters, Nov. 9, 2001

The culture in our agencies have changed. We are now interested in preventing attack.
-- Comments made to Business, Trade and Agriculture Leaders in the East Room, Oct. 26, 2001

Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees
-- Clarifying (?) what he meant when he referred to a tree specialist as an "arbolist", to Judy Keen, USA Today, Aug. 22, 2001

You saw the president yesterday. I thought he was very forward-leaning, as they say in diplomatic nuanced circles.
-- On Russian President Vladimir Putin, Rome, July 23, 2001

I happen to believe missile defenses is important to keep the world more peaceful.
-- Remarks by the President to the Pool, The British Museum, London, England, July 19, 2001

Well, there's some things I know today.
-- There are something wrong with this sentence, from remarks made in honor of Black Music Month, June 29, 2001

The power that be, well most of the power that be, sits right here.
-- In reference to a group of assembled senators and house members, Washington, D.C., June 18, 2001

So on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations.
-- Addressing national women's volleyball champions from University of Nebraska in Washington, D.C., May 31, 2001

America needs a military where our breast and brightest are proud to serve, and proud to stay.
-- Stirring up the troops at Fort Stewart, Georgia, Feb. 12, 2001

I would have to ask the questioner. I haven't had a chance to ask the questioners the question they've been questioning.
-- Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001

Either you got it, or you don't got it. When you come walking in that hall, there's only one person that can get you ready to give the speech, and that's you -- that's the person getting ready to give it. His part of my life is one of just a loving dad.
-- On former President Bush's contribution to an upcoming budget speech, Mar. 9, 2001 (Washington Post)

I do think we need for a troop to be able to house his family. That's an important part of building morale in the military.
-- Tyndall Air Force Base, Florida, Mar. 12, 2001

I confirmed to the prime minister that we appreciate our friendship.
-- After meeting with Prime Minister Jean Chrétien of Canada, Feb. 5, 2001

We need to do what we need to do to get the bodies out of there, if they're there.
-- In reference to the collision between the U.S. Navy submarine and the Japanese fishing vessel, Chicago Tribune, Feb. 14, 2001

I'm also honored to be here with the speaker of the House—just happens to be from the state of Illinois. I'd like to describe the speaker as a trustworthy man. He's the kind of fellow who says when he gives you his word he means it. Sometimes that doesn't happen all the time in the political process.
-- Chicago, Mar. 6, 2001

Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: Markets must be open.
-- Swearing-in ceremony for Secretary of Agriculture Ann Veneman, Washington, D.C., Mar. 2, 2001

We understand where the power of this country lay. It lays in the hearts and souls of Americans. It must lay in our pocketbooks. It lays in the willingness for people to work hard. But as importantly, it lays in the fact that we've got citizens from all walks of life, all political parties, that are willing to say, I want to love my neighbor. I want to make somebody's life just a little bit better.
-- Concord, North Carolina, Apr. 11, 2001

This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.
-- Washington, D.C., Apr. 10, 2001

She is a member of a labor union at one point.
-- Announcing his nomination of Linda Chavez as secretary of labor. Austin, Texas, Jan. 2, 2001

The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, often times, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from.
-- Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001

I support current efforts to make Amtrak more efficient and competitive. I believe these efforts will result in better, more extensive and more reliant rail service for the millions of Americans who travel by train.
-- Associated Press, Sep. 17, 2000

Put the 'off' button on.
-- South Carolina, Feb. 14, 2000

The true threats to stability and peace are these nations that are not very transparent, that hide behind the, that don't let people in to take a look and see what they're up to. They're very kind of authoritarian regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these people decide, peak of anger, try to hold us hostage, ourselves. The Israelis, for example, to whom we'll defend, offer our defenses. The South Koreans.
-- President Dubya, Mar. 13, 2001

I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race.
-- Describing a phone call to Sen. John Breaux. Crawford, Texas, Dec. 2, 2000

I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.
-- Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000

A family in Allentown, Pennsylvania, I campaigned with them the other day... Under my plan, they get $1800 of tax relief. Under Vice President Gore's plan, they get $145 of tax relief. Now you tell me who stands on the side of the fence.
-- Specifying who stood on the side of the fence in the first presidential debate, Boston, Massachusetts, Oct. 3, 2000

The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me about what has come and is coming.
-- on his anti-Gore ad, in an interview with the New York Times, Sept. 2, 2000

We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.
-- Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 21, 2000

The fundamental question in certain neighborhoods is, how do we break a sense that the system isn’t meant for me? You need mentoring programs. Part of it has to do with there isn’t the entrepreneurial system being passed from one generation to the next.
-- Time Magazine interview, CNN.com/Time.com, Aug. 1, 2000

This case has had full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases.
-- Seattle Post-Intelligencer, June 23, 2000

Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against things. Anti-immigrant, for example.
-- Cleveland, Ohio, July 1, 2000

He has certainly earned a reputation as a fantastic mayor, because the results speak for themselves. I mean, New York's a safer place for him to be.
-- On Rudy Giuliani, The Edge With Paula Zahn, May 18, 2000

The benefits of helping somebody is beneficial.
-- Extolling the virtues of education, April, 2000

[We will] use our technology to enhance uncertainty abroad.
-- Confirming our suspicions on the campaign trail, March, 2000

It's going to require a president who understands it's in our strategic interests to have a peaceful and economically vile hemisphere.
-- March, 2000

The fact that he relies on facts -- says things that are not factual -- are going to undermine his campaign.
-- New York Times, March 4, 2000

I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know.
-- On what happened in negotiations between the Justice Department and Elián González's Miami relatives, as quoted by the Associated Press, April 26, 2000

You subscribe politics to it. I subscribe freedom to it.
-- Responding to a question about whether he and Al Gore were making the Elián González case a political issue. In Palm Beach, Florida, as quoted by the Associated Press, April 6, 2000

Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads.
-- Fund-raising letter from George W. Bush, quoted in the Washington Post, March 24, 2000

The senator has got to understand if he's going to have -- he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road.
-- To reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb. 17, 2000

If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow.
-- Meaning to say "barriers and tariffs", Rochester, New York, Jan. 7, 2000

Well, I know it irritates the Jewish people a lot. It creates a polarization.
-- Reaction to instructional pamphlet made by the Southern Baptist Convention with advice on how to convert Jews, US News & World Report, Dec. 6, 1999

I think the populace needs to make determinations on elections about: Is the person honest? Does the person have a good heart? What is the philosophy? So along those lines.
-- Making himself clear again, US News & World Report, Dec. 6, 1999

On War
This isn't a Republican war, this isn't a Democrat war; this is an American war.
-- Making what seems an unnecessary clarification, as political parties cannot unilaterally declare war, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Apr. 24, 2002

I don't know what got in their mind on that day, when they attacked us. They must have thought this country of ours was so weak, and so materialistic, so self-absorbed, that all we would do would be to file a lawsuit.
-- Reusing a favorite here.

I don't have a calendar on my desk that says by a certain date, all this business has got to end. That's not how it works. That's what the enemy wants. They want us to quit, because we're impatient. But it's not going to happen. It can't happen. History has called us into action. We must never look back and say, how come we didn't act when there's called into action. We must be steadfast in that which we believe, and steady in our resolve. And I can assure you it doesn't matter whether you're a Republican or whether you're a Democrat, or whether you don't even give a darn about political parties.
-- Rambling further and further off course, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Apr. 15, 2002

And I've told world leaders: either you're with us or you're not with us. And I mean every word of it. And they now know our country means every word of it, as well.
-- And how is it that they know this now? Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Apr. 15, 2002

I mean, after all, you might remember that some of the initial discussions after September the 11th about potential threat was about crop dusters. Now, they don't have a lot of crop dusters, you know, in Manhattan. They've got a lot of crop dusters in South Carolina or Texas. In other words, some of the intelligence we were getting was that not only were the enemy willing to use airplanes, obviously, as weapons, but what we were concerned about was that they would use other methods -- like using a crop duster to spray a weapons of mass destruction, if possible. It's an indication that we had to be on alert to defend all sites and all locations in our country.
-- One lengthy and confused statement from the master, Greenville, South Carolina, Mar. 27, 2002

Colin Powell has cobbled together one of the great coalitions ever, a coalition determined to fight terror wherever we find it.
-- Making it sound like Colin Powell did a slipshod, hapahzard job in finding a coalition, but I'm guessing it was meant to be a compliment, El Paso, Texas, Mar. 21, 2002

Not only will we win the war on terror to secure the peace in the world, we will show the world that a diverse nation from all walks of life and all religions can be compassionate and kind and hopeful for everyone who's lucky enough to be an American citizen.
-- I guess the rest of the world is out of luck if they were looking for compassion from the U.S., Missouri Republican Party dinner, St. Louis, Missouri, Mar. 19, 2002

Well, first of all, I knew our troops were good because I've been reading reports about how good they are.-- Commander-in-Chief making a really hands-on assessment of his soldiers on tour of Ft. Bragg, Mar. 15, 2002

We're a peaceful nation and moving along just right and just kind of having a time, and all of a sudden, we get attacked and now we're at war, but we're at war to keep the peace.
-- White House, Mar. 13, 2002

He is -- as I mentioned in my speech, I do mention the fact that this is a fellow who is willing to commit youngsters to their death and he, himself, tries to hide -- if, in fact, he's hiding at all.
-- On Osama bin Laden, White House, Mar. 13, 2002

You know, the enemy, when they hit America, didn't understand us. They didn't think we were a nation that could conceivably sacrifice for something greater than ourself, that we were soft, that we were so self-absorbed and so materialistic that we wouldn't defend anything we believed in. My, were they wrong. They missed -- they just were reading the wrong magazine, or watching the wrong Springer show.
-- Another Dubya stream of consciousness run amok, White House, Mar. 12, 2002

Part of having a secure homeland is to have a good airport system, that's safe for people to travel, an airport system that is inspecting bags by inspectors who are qualified to inspect bags.
-- Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Feb. 5, 2002

You know, the enemy hit us, and they said, oh, this great country is going to wilt. They're not great, they're weak. I like to needle them by saying, they must have been watching too much daytime TV.
-- Dubya strikes again with his schoolyard needling and teasing of the enemy, University of Pittsburgh, Feb. 5, 2002

I'm a baseball fan, I want a scorecard.... And I actually got a chart. There's an 'X' right there.
-- Dubya explaining how he keeps the "players" straight in the War on Terrorism, and pointing out the 'X' placed on al-Qaida military chief Muhammad Atef's picture, who had just died in U.S. bombing raids, Feb. 3, 2002

The enemy hit us. As I like to kind of tease the enemy, they must have been watching too much daytime TV. They thought we were soft; they thought we were materialistic; they thought we wouldn't fight for what we believed; they thought we would cower in the face of terror. And my, my, are they wrong.
-- Off the written script and into a nursery rhyme styled stream of consciousness, Daytona Beach, Florida, Jan. 30, 2002

I'll give you an interesting idea that took place in Maine. They've got Maine lobstermen are now patrolling the coast on a volunteer basis to make sure that somebody in a -- somebody carrying something they don't want to carry in a boat shows up on the coast. I mean, there's all kinds of ways to serve the community.
-- Your guess is as good as mine, Dubya's boat of thought adrift in Daytona Beach, Florida, Jan. 30, 2002

And if you don't have a place, we've started what's called the USA Freedom Corps. It's a chance for retired police officers or fired off -- firemen to help out the local law enforcement authorities to be on alert.
-- Or something like that, comments made to seniors in speech about the USA Freedom Corps, Daytona Beach, Florida, Jan. 30, 2002

We're in total agreement on how these prisoners - or detainees - excuse me, ought to be treated. And they'll be treated well.
-- Making it clear that the people being held at Guantanamo Bay were indeed detainees, not prisoners of war, although he referred to them as "prisoners" twice in his comments to reporters, White House, Jan. 28, 2002

It's amazing to me that we've got an enemy, on the one hand, that's willing to convince young males to commit suicide on behalf of a cause that's empty and, at the same time, try to escape the justice of America in caves.
-- Dubya's logic escapes me again, John Deere Harvester Works, East Moline, Illinois, Jan. 14, 2002

But Tommy said, this war -- the phase of this war is kind of like a baseball game. Of course, my ears perked up.
-- Well of course, what with all of the boring talk about war and all, Washington, D.C., Dec. 21, 2001

We're beginning to shut down financial institutions around the world.
-- Hopefully not meaning to say he's singlehandedly shutting down the world financial system, White House Ceremony marking end of Ramadan, Dec. 17, 2001

As soon as we make definitive conclusions, we'll share it with the American people.
-- Or them, even, White House Ceremony marking end of Ramadan, Dec. 17, 2001

The American people must understand that I have no timetable in mind. There's no - I don't have a calendar that says, 'Gosh, if he's not gotten by this certain moment, then I'll be disappointed.'
-- Letting us know that he doesn't base his military decisions on a "disappointment calendar", meeting with Thai prime minister, Dec. 13, 2001

He's so evil that he's willing to send young men to commit suicide while he hides in caves.
-- Not to put too fine a point on it, but is Dubya on the front lines? And have you seen Dick Cheney anywhere lately, or is he in a cave, too? Remarks at White House Lighting of Menorah, Dec. 10, 2001

Our intelligence professionals and special forces have cooperated in battle-friendly -- with battle-friendly Afghan forces -- fighters who know the terrain, who know the Taliban, and who understand the local culture.
-- Explaining our "battle-friendly" partners in the war, Dec. 11, 2001

They are a movement defined by their hatreds. They hate progress, and freedom, and choice, and culture, and music, and laughter, and women, and Christians, and Jews, and all Muslims who reject their distorted doctrines.
-- Comments on the Taliban that taken on their own make sense, but make less sense when you learn they were made at The Citadel, the military academy made famous by its great efforts to prevent the inclusion of female cadets, and intimidate them into quitting once admitted, The Citadel, Dec. 11, 2001

At the same time, I had also made the decision, or close to made the decision that if we found an airplane that was squawking emergency, that its transponder had showed distress, that I had given the orders to the Secretary of Defense to shoot that airplane down.
-- I hope the Air Force was able to figure out how to detect a "transponder in distress", Barbara Walters interview, Dec. 4, 2001

The point I make is, by putting our troops in alert, obviously I was in a war mentality.
-- Verbal ambiguities provided in Barbara Walters interview, Dec. 4, 2001

WALTERS: "Although you had said at one point it might take ten years, but it looks as if we're closing in; and you said you wanted Osama bin Laden dead or alive. Which would you prefer: Dead or alive?"
DUBYA: "I don't care."
-- Showing the value he places on human life when he doesn't like the human in question, not to mention judicial process, Barbara Walters interview, Dec. 4, 2001

We do know that he has no sense of civility about who he kills.
-- On Osama bin Laden, and suggesting "civil killing" is a possibility, Barbara Walters interview, Dec. 4, 2001

I don't know. We're trying to figure that out. I can't make any news right now because we're in the process of determining what to do with John.
-- Casually referring to alleged U.S. traitor John Walker Lindh as "John", who he also referred to as "this poor fellow", Barbara Walters interview, Dec. 4, 2001

No, the country -- this country is a fabulous country. They thought they hurt us, the evil ones. They have made us stronger, more real, and a better land.
-- Patriotic and gramatically confused all at the same time, town hall meeting, Dec. 4, 2001

Secondly, you need to pray for the good Lord to protect America, provide a shield over our country, to prevent us from harm.
-- Or protect us from harm, maybe, town hall meeting, Dec. 4, 2001

And, finally, next Tuesday our nation will play the National Anthem at 8:34 a.m. eastern standard time. We will do so, and we're encouraging other nations to play their anthems and/or appropriate tunes at about the same time or an appropriate time, to send this clear signal to the terrorists.
-- Perhaps the most appropriate time would be 8:46 a.m., since that is the time of the first airliner attack, photo op with Norwegian prime minister, Dec. 5, 2001

The Anthem will be played at 8:46 a.m. I wanted to correct the time, so that as we prepare this reminder about the evil, and as we stand fast against terror, that we've got the correct time that we're going to do so.
-- There you go, Dubya, same photo op with Norwegian prime minister, Dec. 5, 2001

I believe that we're making -- taking everything we possibly can to -- I know we're doing everything we can to prevent further attacks.
-- Hopefully easier done than said, Orlando, Florida, Dec. 4, 2001

If we get any whiff, or any sniff that somebody is going to harm an American again, we're acting -- just the way you would want us to.
-- Orlando, Florida, Dec. 4, 2001

We're an open society, but we're at war. The enemy has declared war on us and we must not let foreign enemies use the forms of liberty to destroy liberty itself.
-- Proposition for a preemptive assault on liberty in order to preserve it, in speech to new federal prosecutors, Nov. 29, 2001

I'm trying to absorb that knowledge. I have nobody to talk to. I'm sitting in the midst of a classroom with little kids, listening to a children's story... and I realize I'm the commander in chief and the country has just come under attack.
-- Scary, in interview with Newsweek, Nov. 2001

I was on Air Force One the day of the attack, working my way back to Washington via Louisiana and Nebraska -- making sure that the President was safe and secure.
-- Suffering from some sort of ailment that keeps him talking about himself in the third person, or suffering from amnesia as to his occupation, Crawford High School, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 15, 2001

Secondly, is to make sure that the good hearts of the American people and the Russian people, and people all over the world, are affected. By that I mean that we get the aid to the starving folks in Afghanistan.
-- I'm glad that at least he understand what he's saying, Crawford High School, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 15, 2001

I have been -- I had spent a lot of time worrying about all eight, particularly the two young ladies. I was worried that -- about the reports that perhaps the enemy would put them in a house and then, for whatever reason, would encourage that house to get bombed.
-- The two young ladies are apparently more important to Dubya since they are American, and excellent wording as usual, too, garage of Dubya's Crawford ranch, Nov. 14, 2001

I think it was a -- I don't think it was -- I think it was, as I understand it -- and again, the Secretary of Defense will be briefing, the Defense Department will be briefing -- that it was a facilitated rescue.
-- Clarifying the situation around the rescue of foreigners held by the Talibam, comments made in his Texas ranch home's garage, Nov. 14, 2001

We value life; the terrorists ruthlessly destroy it. We value education; the terrorists do not believe women should be educated, or should have health care, or should leave their homes. We value the right to speak our minds; for the terrorists, free expression can be grounds for execution.
-- Blurring the distinction between the terrorists and the Taliban government in Afghanistan, which are indeed two different groups, in address to nation from Atlanta, Nov. 8, 2001

I recently spoke to high school students in Maryland and realized that for the first time ever these seniors will graduate in the midst of a war in our own country.
-- Generally seniors only graduate once, so it's always the "first time," and lest he forget, many seniors would have graduated in the midst of a war in our own country during the Civil War, from address to nation, Atlanta, Nov. 8, 2001

No group or nation should mistake Americans' intentions. Where terrorist groups exist of global reach, the United States and our friends and allies will seek it out, and we will destroy it.
-- Having pronoun agreement issues, among others, from address to nation, Atlanta, Nov. 8, 2001

When we get the facts, we'll share it with the American people.
-- Speaking on the probe into the Anthrax attacks, and having yet another problem with sentence agreement (facts/it), address to nation, Atlanta, Nov. 8, 2001

This is a struggle that's going to take a while.... It's not one of these Kodak moments. There is no moment to this. This is a long struggle and a different kind of war.
-- Cryptic reference offered in press conference with British PM Tony Blair, Washington, D.C., Nov. 7, 2001

And we are fighting evil, and we will continue to fight evil, and we will not stop until we defeat evil.
-- Dubya tells "evil" who's boss, White House, Nov. 2, 2001

Well, I wasn't rattled when I went out and threw out the ball at Yankee Stadium.
-- I hate to point out the obvious, but let's just say that Dubya's personal security is just a little bit higher than that of the average American, White House, Nov. 2, 2001

We're making it harder for the enemy to communicate. We're making it harder for the enemy to protect himself. We're making it harder for the enemy to hide. And we're going to get him, and them.
-- Displaying usual dissatisfaction with consistent pronoun usage, White House, Nov. 2, 2001

So if I can sign an airport security bill, airline security bill, it will say to the American people that we are doing everything we possibly can to recover from the aftermath of September the 11th.
-- As long as is says something to the American people, the details and end results are apparently insignificant, meeting with the Secretary of the Treasury and the Secretary of Labor, White House, Nov. 2, 2001

This is not an instant gratification war.
-- Is he saying that the Gulf War was? White House, Nov. 2, 2001

If you see somebody who you don't know getting into a crop duster that doesn't belong to you, report them.
-- Oct. 2001 press conference, answering question about what Americans can do to recognize terrorist threats

After all, we're at war, and for the first time in our nation's history, part of the battlefront is here at home.
-- Apparently Dubya has still never heard about the British burning down the White House during the War of 1812, or the Japanese taking the Alaskan islands of Attu and Kiska and bombing Dutch Harbor, Alaska in WWII, remarks to the National Association of Manufacturers, Oct. 31, 2001

This is a very unusual period in American history, obviously. We've never been attacked like this before. We're still being attacked. Our heart goes out to anybody who suffers in America. And so, we're bolstering our homeland defense. We're disrupting and denying anybody who wants to harm the American people. We spend hours tracking down every possible lead of somebody who would come into this country or who might be burrowed in this country, trying to hurt any American.
-- Aside from the inaccuracy about the U.S. never being attacked, the rest is just plain hilarious, remarks to the National Association of Manufacturers, Oct. 31, 2001

And we need to spend money on helping workers who were -- lost their job as a result of the attack of September the 11th. I believe we need to expend -- extend and expand that unemployment benefits to those workers.
-- On a quest for the right word, and not reaching his destination, remarks to the National Association of Manufacturers, Oct. 31, 2001

We're united behind the fact that we must rise to this occasion.
-- Nice use of the English language, remarks to the National Association of Manufacturers, Oct. 31, 2001

<dt>On one front is the home front.

-- Referring to a front within a front (?) in the war on terrorism, Thomas Wootten High School, Rockville, Maryland, Oct. 30, 2001

And so, the mood of the country is certainly different from what it was on September the 10th, but I find the mood of the country to be incredibly refreshing and strong and powerful.
-- To recap, the mood is better now than it was before terrorists killed thousands, in statements at the Homeland Security Council, Oct. 29, 2001

And how that -- what that means to the economy, it means that the -- it means that over time, our economy is going to be just as strong as the American spirit. And so I'm very optimistic about the economy. How long it will take to recover to the levels that we hope is just -- is beyond my pay grade.
-- Making little sense at the Homeland Security Council, Oct. 29, 2001

September the 11th taught us an interesting lesson, that while -- by far, the vast majority of people who have come to America are really good, decent people, people that we're proud to have here, there are some who are evil.
-- That certainly is interesting, Homeland Security Council, Oct. 29, 2001

The press often ask me, well, is this the -- is the evil one hiding from us in Afghanistan, the ones who have done this to America? I said, I don't know. We don't know yet. But we do know the evil one who hides thinks in ways that we can't possibly think in America -- so destructive, such a low regard for human life. And anybody who puts anthrax, trying to kill American citizens, shares the same set of values. Whoever has done it shares that same value of evil that we saw on September the 11th.
-- I don't even know where to begin on this one, Oct. 26, 2001

Today I mourned the lives of two who -- two postal officers, who lost their life in the line of duty.
-- Remarks to Business, Trade and Agriculture Leaders, East Room, Oct. 26, 2001

Our enemies fear a society which is pluralistic and open to worship an almighty God.
-- Sounds like "America is great because our God is better", East Room, White House, Oct. 26, 2001

We are not at war with Muslims. We don't have a beef with Muslims. We want to be friends with Muslims and Muslim children.
-- Using slang schoolchildren are definitely going to relate to, at Thurgood Marshall Elementary School, Washington, D.C., Oct. 25, 2001

We've had oceans which have protected us over our history. Except for Pearl Harbor, we've never really been hit before.
-- Apparently Dubya never heard about the British burning down the White House during the War of 1812, or the Japanese taking the Alaskan islands of Attu and Kiska and bombing Dutch Harbor, Alaska in WWII, Dixie Printing Company, Glen Burnie, Maryland, Oct. 24, 2001

There's no need to discuss innocence or guilt. We know he's [bin Laden] guilty.
-- Dubya explaining the concept of presumed innocence in American justice, as he understands it, Oct. 14, 2001

There is a certain sense of fascination with previous wars in Kosovo and Desert Storm, where people could turn on their TV screens and see high-tech weaponry burrowing into bunkers and massive explosions.
-- Commander-in-Chief acknowledging the coolness of watching stuff blow up, Washington, D.C., Oct. 9, 2001

We need to counter the shock wave of the evildoer by having individual rate cuts accelerated and by thinking about tax rebates.
-- Countering bin Laden with tax cuts, Labor Department, Oct. 4, 2001

And we'll be tough and resolute as we unite, to make sure freedom stands, to rout out evil, to say to our children and grandchildren, we were bold enough to act, without tiring, so that you can live in a great land and in a peaceful world. And there's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail.
-- Displaying complete confidence in failure, Labor Department, Oct. 4, 2001

You see, the evildoers like to hit and then they try to hide. And slowly, but surely, we're going to make sure they have no place to hide. Slowly, but surely, we're going to move them out of their holes and what they think is safe havens, and get them on the move... In my speech to the Congress, I said, sometimes the American people aren't going to see exactly what's taking place on their TV screens. But slowly, but surely, the results are coming in... We're beginning to share intelligence amongst our nations. We're finding out members of the al Qaeda organization, who they are, where they think they can hide. And we're slowly, but surely, bringing them to justice. We're slowly, but surely, calling their hand and reining them in.
-- Speaking to employees at FEMA Headquarters, Washington, D.C., Oct. 1, 2001, slowly, but surely

You're expressing a firm national commitment that's so important, that we will not surrender our freedom to travel, that we will not surrender our freedoms in America, that while you may think you have struck our soul, you haven't touched it, that we are too strong a nation to be carried down by terrorist activity.
-- Having grammatical difficulties with "you" agreement, Chicago, Sept. 27, 2001

And one of the great goals of this nation's war is to restore public confidence in the airline industry, is to tell the traveling public: "Get on board. Do your business around the country. Fly and enjoy America's great destination spots. Go down to Disney World in Florida, take your families and enjoy life the way we want it to be enjoyed."
-- This speech brought to you by Disney, Chicago, Sept. 27, 2001

The world sees our compassion toward one another, as neighbor helps neighbor, as neighbor grieves with neighbor, as people from all across our country want to hold the families who have been dangered -- who have been hurt -- in their arms.
-- Rallying the people as only he can, Chicago, Sept. 27, 2001

And we will look at all kinds of technologies to make sure that our airlines are safe, and for example including technology to enable controllers to take over distressed aircraft and land it by remote control.
-- Really on a roll at this point, Chicago, Sept. 27, 2001

The folks who conducted this act on our country on September 11th made a big mistake. They misunderestimated the fact that we love a neighbor in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander-in-chief, too.
-- "Misunderestimations" galore reported to the CIA, Sept. 26, 2001

(This is) a war that declares a new declaration, that says if you harbor a terrorist you're just as guilty as the terrorist.
-- CIA Headquarters, Sept. 26, 2001

And in order to make sure that we're able to conduct a winning victory, we've got to have the best intelligence we can possibly have. And my report to the nation is we've got the best intelligence we can possibly have.
-- Explaining in speech at CIA that complete and utter cluelessness about the WTC/Pentagon attack was the best intelligence possible, Sept. 26, 2001

And I'm here to thank everybody who loves America in this building.
-- A classic example of Dubyaspeak, in comments to CIA employees in Langley, VA, Sept. 26, 2001

The people who did this act on America and who may be planning further acts are evil people... They're flat evil. All they can think about is evil. And as a nation of good folks, we're going to hunt them down, and we're going to find them, and we will bring them to justice. Ours is a nation that does not seek revenge, but we do seek justice.
-- Painting a portrait in black and white for FBI employees, Sept. 25, 2001

Oh, isolating the Taliban? Well, I think most people in the world understand that I was very serious, and they're serious, when we say if you harbor a terrorist, you're just as guilty as the terrorist. That's pretty isolated, it seems like to me.
-- In press conference with Japanese PM, Sept. 25, 2001

Or, as I explained to the [Japanese] Prime Minister in Western terms, to smoke them out of their caves, to get them running so we can get them.
-- Cultural ambassador George W. Bush explaining complex metaphorical expression, Sept. 25, 2001

Nobody can threaten this country. Oh, they may be able to bomb a buildings...
-- Speech to joint session of Congress, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2001

REPORTER: Do you want bin Laden dead?
DUBYA: I want justice. There's an old poster out west, as I recall, that said, "Wanted: Dead or Alive."
-- Exhibiting nostalgia for Old West justice, Washington, D.C., Sept. 18, 2001

I know that an act of war was declared against America, but this will be a different type of war than we're used to. In the past, there have been beaches to storm, islands to conquer. We've been able to watch on our television screens sophisticated weaponry to find a building.
-- Making a poor choice of visual imagery for Americans weary from seeing the World Trade Center blow up a thousand times on television, Pentagon, Sept. 17, 2001

The American people are going to have to be more patient than ever with the efforts of not just ourselves, but the efforts of our allies, to get them running and to find them and to hunt them down.
-- Pentagon, Sept. 17, 2001

Like the good folks standing with me, the American people were appalled and outraged at last Tuesday's attacks, and so were Muslims all across the world.
-- At Washington, D.C. mosque, addressing the American Muslims standing behind him as if they were a separate group from the American people, Sept. 17, 2001

This is a new kind of, a new kind of evil... And the American people are beginning to understand. This crusade, this war on terrorism, is going to take a while. And American people must be patient.
-- Simultaneously placating American anxieties, and stoking those of Muslims worldwide, who don't exactly associate good things with the word 'crusade', Washington, D.C., Sept. 16, 2001

My administration has a job to do... We will rid the world of evildoers.
-- Preparing for Batman-like role, Washington, D.C., Sept. 16, 2001

I want to let you know there's a quiet anger in America that really is real and also, though, I can't tell you how proud I am of the good citizens of your part of the world and the extraordinary job you all are doing.
-- In telephone conversation with New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani and New York governor George Pataki, who apparently preside over a jurisdiction somewhere outside the U.S., Sept. 13, 2001

I have spoken to the vice president, to the governor of New York, to the director of the FBI, and I've ordered that the full resources of the federal government go to help the victims and their families and to conduct a full-scale investigation to hunt down and to find those folks who committed this act.
-- Sarasota, Florida, Sept. 11, 2001

Education
The people who care more about the Iowa children when it comes to education, are Iowans, not people in Washington, D.C.
-- According to Dubya, the federal government doesn't care about Iowa's school childern. Maybe he knows something we don't, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Apr. 15, 2002

Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of "Hop on Pop."
-- From now on, when I sleep at night, I'm going to have to think of Dubya thinking of "Hop on Pop", and get really scared, Pennsylvania State University, Apr. 2, 2002

You can help by helping build one of these school chests. It doesn't matter how you do it, how you raise the money. Just get it done.
-- If you take him at his word, drug dealing, prostitution, bank heists... all fine if you're helping to educate Afghan children, Samuel W. Tucker Elementary School, Alexandria, Virginia, Mar. 20, 2002

We need to know whether or not people are learning. And if they are, there will be hallelujahs all over the place.
-- University of New Hampshire, Jan. 8, 2002

I understand taking tests aren't fun.
-- Spoken like a true scholar, Hamilton High School, Hamilton, Ohio, Jan. 8, 2002

I knew that when I got all of the facts that we were under attack, there would be hell to pay for attacking America.
-- Age appropriate commentary made to 3rd grader, town hall meeting, Dec. 4, 2001

We've got to make sure that the education system throughout the world provides people the needs to be able to provide work.
-- If only education reform were retroactive, eh Dubya? Barbara Walters interview, Dec. 4, 2001

Sometimes, boys and girls would rather watch TV than read. When your teachers say read, they are giving you pretty damn good advice.
-- Advice given to 30 British schoolchildren after Dubya's tour of the British Museum, to whom he also offered the pearl "It's White" when asked by a child what the White House is like, London Daily Mirror, July, 2001

We're beginning to change the way of thinking, so we ask the question, before we put you anywhere, we want to know what you know. And if you don't know what you're supposed to know, we'll correct it early, before it's too late.
-- Making an excellent case for educational reforms, June 21, 2001

If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.
-- Remarks to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund Institute, Washington, D.C., May 22, 2001

If you're like me, you won't remember everything you did here. That can be a good thing.
-- Address at Yale University, May 21, 2001

It is time to set aside the old partisan bickering and finger-pointing and name-calling that comes from freeing parents to make different choices for their children.
-- President Dubya, Apr. 12, 2001

What easy is when you see excellence to herald excellence.
-- Confused phrase stemming from attempt to praise teachers, April, 2000

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
-- Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000

One reason I like to highlight reading is, reading is the beginnings of the ability to be a good student. And if you can't read, it's going to be hard to realize dreams; it's going to be hard to go to college. So when your teachers say, read—you ought to listen to her.
-- Nalle Elementary School, Washington, D.C., Feb. 9, 2001

We must have the attitude that every child in America -- regardless of where they're raised or how they're born -- can learn.
-- New Britain, Connecticut, Apr. 18, 2001

Of all states that understands local control of schools, Iowa is such a state.
-- Council Bluffs, Iowa, Feb. 28, 2001

We've got to end the process-oriented world of public schools.
-- President Dubya, Mar. 20, 2001

You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
-- President Dubya at Townsend Elementary School, touting his education reform plans, Feb. 21, 2001

The federal government puts about 6% of the money up. They put about 60% of the strings, where you got to fill out paperwork. [A teacher] has to be a paperwork-filler-outer, most of it’s because of the federal government.
-- Presidential debate, St. Louis, Missouri, Oct. 17, 2000

In 1994, there were 67 schools in Texas that were rated "exemplorary" according to our own tests.
-- Manhattan Institute for Policy Research (New York), Oct. 5, 1999

I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember.
-- On discussions of the Vietnam War when he was an undergraduate at Yale, Washington Post, July 27, 1999

Gov. Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure.
-- Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000

How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?
-- Explaining the need for educational accountability in Beaufort, South Carolina, Feb. 16, 2000

We ought to make the pie higher.
-- South Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000

We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal--federal cufflink.
-- At Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, March 30, 2000

As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards.
-- CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000

Reading is the basics for all learning.
-- Announcing his "Reading First" initiative in Reston, Virginia, March 28, 2000

"Thou shalt not kill" is pretty universal. (School) Districts ought to be allowed to post the Ten Commandments, no matter what a person's religion is.
-- Supporting the concept of a wrathful God in motivating "goodness" in schoolchildren, because it's universal, GOP Debate in Johnston, Iowa, Jan. 16, 2000

I read the newspaper.
-- In answer to a question about his reading habits, New Hampshire Republican Debate, Dec. 2, 1999

I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children.
-- Second presidential debate, October 11, 2000

Classics
"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, DC, is close to California."

"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses."

"There ought to be limits to freedom."

"I have learned from mistakes I may or may not have made."

``Nothing can be further than the truth,''

"Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it"

"...I understand small business growth, I was one..."

"...in America, we compassionatize with others."

" The question is, my friends, is our children learning?"

" We would not use sublinimal advertising..."

" I know human beings and fish can coexist peacefully."

"...in international terms if all tarriers and barriffs were lifted..."

" No country, big or small, shall hold this nation hostile."

"...I know you are working hard to put food on your family."

" I'm ambilovent to the report."


JOKE
Al Gore and George W. Bush were having lunch at a Washington restaurant. The attractive waitress asks Gore what he would like. Gore replies, "I'll have a ham sandwich." "And what can I get for you, sir?" she asks Bush. Bush replies, "How about a quickie?" "Why Governor!" the waitress says, "How rude! And you're not even, President yet!" As the waitress storms away, Gore leans over to Bush and whispers, "It's pronounced quiche."